Chinese Shar-Pei
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This web site was updated on Friday, September 28, 2007 6:15 PM

Funny Dogs!
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Things that make you go "awwww"
These goys are cute!

Submitted by Annette & Steve Gold
Arizona Shar-Pei Owners
THE QUESTION:
HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

GOLDEN RETRIEVER:

The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

BORDER COLLIE:

Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

DACHSHUND:

You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

ROTTWEILER:

Make me!

BOXER:

Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Labrador Retriever:

Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

GERMAN SHEPHERD:

I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER:

I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Note: The name of the Jack Russell Terrier was changed to the Parson Russell Terrier effective April 1, 2003

OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG:

Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a lightbulb?

COCKER SPANIEL:

Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. (Also applicable to Shi-tsus )

CHIHUAHUA:

Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

POINTER:

I see the burned out bulb, there it is, there it is, right there.....
GREYHOUND:
It isn't moving. Who cares?

AUSTRAILIAN SHEPHERD:

First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..

POODLE:

I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

THE CAT

"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs.

So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN,
THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS,
CATS HAVE STAFF.

Submitted by Ron Rausch
Executive Manager with
GE Medical Systems

Use the chart provided find the relative age of your pet. If your pet's relative age is over 40 years many veterinarians recommend a Senior Pet Exam that may include a physical, bloodwork, urinalysis, EKG, and xrays.

Each pet is different and the exact procedures included in your pet's Senior Exam will be determined by you, your pet and your veterinarian.

This information is for the several Senior Canines Jassy has met on her walks.

 

 

Based on a chart developed by Fred L. Metzger,
DVM, Dipl. ABVP; State College, PA
How Old Is My Dog in "Human Years"?
Pet's Age
Pet's Size (in pounds)
0-20 lbs 21-50 lbs 51-90 lbs > 90 lbs
5
36
37
40
42
6
40
42
45
49
7
44
47
50
56
8
48
51
55
64
9
52
56
61
71
10
56
60
66
78
11
60
65
72
86
12
64
69
77
93
13
68
74
82
101
14
72
78
88
108
15
76
83
93
115
16
80
87
99
123
17
84
92
104
18
88
96
109
19
92
101
115
20
96
105
120
Takara's Killer Yap
Japan's best-selling Bow-Lingual dog translator hits American shelves.
By Bob Parks

This month the $120 Bow-Lingual dog translator comes to America. Manufactured by Japanese toymaker Takara (see "How a Banana Saved a Company," March), Bow-Lingual links a wireless microphone strapped to a dog's collar to a handheld unit that converts canine barks into human phrases and expressions. It's a hit in Japan, where Takara has sold 300,000 units. But does it really work?

Yes -- with some caveats. When a dog barks into the microphone, the sound is matched against voiceprints for 80 breeds. Barks are classified into six categories: happy, sad, frustrated, angry, assertive, and needy. Bow-Lingual then randomly selects phrases to fit the category. During a test walk, a worked-up dachshund ostensibly said, "C'mon, if you've got the guts!"

The phrases are fun, but they're also far-fetched. Still, like a veteran dog owner, Bow-Lingual really can differentiate a playfully aggressive pet from one that's genuinely pissed off.

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